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Oh, My Creator! -- The Lament of Shah-bar
[From "At Least Once In India"]
Daniel Raphael ~ 1998
"Ah-na-hi-ta! Ah-na-hi-ta!"
The universe must echo a thousand
times for I have I cried
your name that many times and more.
There has not been time enough
in this lifetime for me, Shah-bar,
to express all the love
I have for you, Ahnahita.
You have crossed the barrier
before me.
You are gone,
now keeping a vigil
as you wait for me again.
Though we lived apart,
we felt each other's presence.
It gave us hope of living
as one together...but now,
now I am alone with my despair.
I do not feel your presence.
I do not feel hope, either.
All that remains are
memories and old letters.
Oh, my Creator,
would you bring us love as ours
so we would feel hope or despair?
I have never given the time
of one grain of sand passing
through an hourglass
to believe that our relationship
was ever based upon despair.
The Creator did not create despair,
but provides hope for love's fulfillment
when love is not...not fulfilled.
For that which is not fulfilled,
hope is not just a refuge
but the position from which
we can co-create with the Creator
what is not complete --
love fulfilled.
I do not believe that Ahura Mazda
would create two large jars
for carrying water from the well
of eternal love then send us
away with only two handfuls.
Oh, my Creator
your source is eternal,
perpetually creative in the example
you have shared with each of us.
Would you deny the expansion
of that example
in the relationship
of Ahnahita and I?
No! I do not believe
you would leave us in despair
but encourage us
to live in hope of love's fulfillment
for the loving relationship
we began so long ago.
Oh, my Creator I cry
upon your temple steps
to let me see,
if for only hope's sake,
what may
become in another lifetime
with my cherished Ahnahita.
Oh, my Creator,
all I need is to see
in the time of one grain passing
a glimpse
of our love's fulfillment.
Give me hope to cross
the barrier not alone in despair
but filled with hope for our
love's fulfillment.
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